Boy meets damaged girl. Boy falls in love with damaged girl.

Damaged girl agrees to superficial relationship, insists boy needn’t dig deeper.

Boy, realizing he loves girl, tells her he wants more.

Girl dumps boy – she can’ t deal with a real relationship.

Boy refuses to give up. He sacrifices a very important job opportunity to prove his love for her.

Girl accepts his sacrifice, offers conditions on their relationship.

Boy accepts conditions, then offers counter-conditions.

Girl finally opens up about the pain in her life.

Boy tells her he loves her no matter what. To him, she is not her past – she is part of their future.

Girl cries. It’s hard to let go of the past, to trust.

Boy re-affirms that she will be his, and what others say won’t matter.

Girl ….

Finally finds true love.

I arrived 45 minutes early, got settled in and met my classroom assistant (the ever-helpful Dennis Smirl, a fellow OCW member), who helped make classroom arrangements. I got a breather to chat with the gal from SoundX Design (who do recordings for the conference) and then it was time for clss.

And what a great class! I was told there would be 13 members in my class, so I made 20 handouts. Turned out to be 25! They were a fun, interesting bunch and I met some really great authors. Thank you to all who showed up to hear me prattle for an hour, and gave such wonderful feedback.

So, without further ado (about time, you’re thinking), here are the class handouts if you missed it or weren’t able to grab one. Don’t forget, you can also order and audio copy of the workshop on CD by emailing soundxdesign@yahoo.com.

Thanks for stopping by!

Writer’s Web Handout

(PS: The attachment is in PDF format, so you’ll need the free Adobe Acrobat reader.)

Free eBook from HubPages: “How to Use FaceBook for Business“

Christy Award winner Jill Williamson

I know, I know, everyone blogs about their attendance at a writer’s conference. I know. But I’m going to do it anyway.

However, this isn’t another “writer’s conference blog post” wherein I gush about the famous writers I met, the editors I wowed, the fabulous food, the gorgeous weather, or even the amazing workshops I attended. (For the record: many, few, not much, absolutely not and all of them.)

The conference is not yet half over – I’ve a day and a half to go – but tonight was my favorite yet. Let me set this up for you, if I may.

The Portland-Salem area, where this conference is being held, is experiencing a record heat wave. (You all in my home state of Louisiana & Mike’s home of Redding, CA are laughing your pens off, but 105 degrees is HOT for Portland!) Our dining room may or may not be air-conditioned – you really can’t tell for the hot food & number of bodies in the room – but it’s even hotter than outside.

I sat at Jill Williamson’s table this evening. Now before you go getting all impressed that I know this super-talented author, I feel obliged to tell you that “I knew her before…” Yes, that’s right, I met Jill Williamson before she became the Jill Williamson. I have an “I knew her before…” story – sweet!

At any rate, I sat at Jill’s table and we were having the best of conversations (the goofball kind, the talking about everything kind), and this lovely lady named Carol sat in the empty chair between us. She endured us talking over her, even joining in the conversation. Then she turned and asked me a question.

“I wanted to go to your Web site workshop today,” she said.

“I wanted to go all the other workshops,” I replied. That’s the bad part of teaching: I miss all the other great workshops. At least Ernie & Gloria Ediger are there to help us out with CDs of the workshops – double sweet!

“So I’m wondering if I should go to your workshop tomorrow,” she told me. Tomorrow is Part 2 of my website workshop, the oh-so-cheekily titled “Geek Speak.”  ”What are you covering?”

I told her, and she said that she actually already knew most of what I would be teaching. She had a website, her own domain name, a geeky son who helped her, and she was wondering about FaceBook and Twitter.

What followed was a full-length conversation about social media, websites, networking, children, marriage, writing, connecting, faith. We have lots in common, the main one being that both of us have sons two years apart (her oldest is but a few years younger than I am, but the experience is the same whatever the generation!). She shared a lovely story about a family tradition she and her husband enacted with their sons of “releasing” them the night before their wedding (shades of leaving mom & dad, and cleaving to spouse, anyone?), and entreated me to enjoy the wonderful age of my wild things.

Where else but a writer’s conference would I sit at the table of a young adult fantasy author and connect with a Twittering grandma?

here is an image of Jenny McGrady:

Fast-forward – happening way too much lately! – to three weeks ago, when Mr decided it was time to give up some leadership roles he holds. I can’t help but think his decisions are directly related to me in two ways: 1) my comment and 2) my work schedule.

The first weekend after his decision, we made plans – and didn’t follow them. Instead, we rocked the spontaneity, visiting Oaks Amusement Park for an afternoon’s worth of fun and then to a new (to me, that is) restaurant. The boys chattered about the rides and the blow-up alien toys and the food. M took the liberty of ordering a deliciously enormous array of food for us to share. I marveled.

The next weekend was Easter – I work at a church, so Easter is my busy-time followed by my crash-time.

Yesterday, M announced that he’d finished helping J with the Science Fair project and we would be celebrating family-style: a trip to the shore. We spent the day at Cannon Beach, walking, play, wading, exploring, eating, walking.

Lil’ M listened to barnacle chatter.  J found beautiful shells, M took thousands of photos. I read nearly an entire book, with periodic interruptions of ocean wading, shell finding and photo posing. We watched gulls attack place settings moments before the buser arrived to clear the table, took our family Christmas photo, marveled at the puffins, laughed at Sadie’s shunning of the incoming tide.

In short: it was a marvelous, delightful day. Ten years from now, when he’s in college, will J remember this day? Will he take his own kids to this beach and tell them about these tiny moments? Will LilM dig the same pit with his own little guys (or girls), or play with the same sticks?

I’d like to think so. A delightful day is a heart seed: it will set and grow and one day, we will marvel at the beauty of the fully-formed life.

The clan then broke for lunch at Nicholas Restaurant, and thus sealed my fate.

A little backstory: I love to cook. Breakfast, lunch, appetizer, dinner, dessert. Mexican, Cajun, Italian. Complicated, simple. Slow-cooker, rice-cooker, convection oven, microwave. I don’t do weirdly complicted concotions (or anything involving the words “cream of [something] soup”), however.

So when my family visited Nicholas, a Lebanese restaurant here in PDX, they – of course – came home with requests for Lebanese on the supper menu. I’ve done some Middle East – Israeli couscous, lentil soup, etc. – but nothing so specific.

Now I have this menu in front of me, & blatant demands to work my mojo. Since said mojo involves words like “a pinch of” and “a little more than,” I have to venture out. Found some yummy tahini garlic sauce at Whole Foods. My favorite Hummus – and unbaked flatbread, YES! – at Costco.  Garlic, lemon, cucumber, allspice, sliced beef, no problem. Where in the market can I find falafel?

BTW, I love saying baba ghanoush.

Update more on Sunday, when I attempt the Falafel Feast o’ Fun.

I grew up “poor.” It’s a long, sometimes sad, sometimes interesting, but never boring, story.

Now, I have no thick bankbook, but I’m not living in a tent. I count myself grateful for these most amazing things:

1. Mercy. I don’t deserve it, but I get it.

2. Mike. I don’t deserve him, but I got him.

3. My boys. Wow. I actually carried, birthed and raised these amazing human beings. Wow.

If ever we find ourselves in a tent, far from the life we imagined, we can rest in this hope: three small graces – mercy, love and family - bare but overflowing sustenance in the hardest of times.

If you want to sell me, average Jane, an eBook, avoid the following.

Highlighted text

I have highlighters. In lots of colors. Thing is, I never use them. This might be a Jane quirk, but I actually don’t like highlighting – I gave all of them to my kids. Puritanical book lover that I am, I hate to see anything but underlined pencil in a book.

And on a web page? Oh, they’re trying to SELL me something, not TEACH me something.

Like most of us, I often feel somewhat assaulted by the amount of selling thrown my way. “Jane, YOU MUST HAVE THIS!” “Jane, if you don’t buy this RIGHT NOW, you will be throwing away money!” “Jane, you do not even care about your family because you aren’t BUYING THIS!”

Highlighted text – yellow or otherwise – tells me you’re a seller, not a teacher. The guy at my door selling carpet cleaner versus the guy at university teaching me how to clean my carpet. (I know, dorky comparison, but much better than my original…)

Testimonials

Carrie in Duluth, Bob in Natchez, Susan in Oakland and Fred in Alberta all have one thing in common: they love your product. They have one other thing in common: I don’t trust them. Is Carrie your cousin? Did you give Bob a coupla bucks to promo your product? Susan, Oakland, really? Fred, love ya but you’re in Canada. ‘Nuff said. (Apologies to my Canadian friends, but your looney is way better than my buck right now.)

When I see testimonials, I see… whatever. Nothing in common with these folks, except we’re on the same site. They gush, they mush, but no one mentions that you might have to – oh, I dunno – WORK or LEARN. Just that XYZ eBook helped them make five gazillion dollars (euro? looney? tooney?) a day. Riiiight.

Looooooong Pages

I have X amount of time. You have X amount of time to convince that my X amount of time should be spent reading your eBook. If I have to hit the Page-Down key more than 3x time (if I’m feeling generous), you’ve lost me.

Reputation

Honestly, I don’t care if you went to Harvard or Muncie Community College. I care that you can convince me – sans highlighting, testimonials and/or loooong pages – that you know what you’re talking about. Give me a brief bio, some links and a way to contact you. Short & sweet, I’m impressed.

Gimmicks

BUY NOW AND YOU’LL SAVE 75% OFF THE COVER PRICE!
75%? Really? Did we take the same math class? Because you’re trying to sell an eBook for $19.95. OK, I stink at math, but I think that means you’re valuing your original eBook at something like $100. (Seriously, I stink at math.)

I have never, and probably will never (most likely because I’m not earning a gazillion dollars today), pay $100 for a book. I bought James Scott Bell’s “Plot & Structure” brand-new on Amazon and had guilt. (In my defense, it was paperback and helped me hit my free shipping limit on the new U2 CD order. And I can write it off.)

YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS THIS!
Um, I kind of can. I’m broke. The highlighting just affirmed my brokeness.

YOU’LL BE SORRY IF YOU PASS ON THIS OFFER!
I, like so many others, am rarely sorry if I miss out on paying someone else for something I can get at a better cost from a more reputable (and less manipulative) seller.

ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU REALLY SURE YOU DON’T WANT TO MAKE A GAZILLION DOLLARS IN ONE DAY?
I am sure. If you were making a gazillion dollars a day, you could hire a seasoned editor (like me, or my friends Sue or Mary) who could tell you that your copy is the Velveeta of the Internet – cheesy with a side of artificial preservative.

All of that said… I have 4 eBooks in the hopper (about web design for writers, natch), so feel free to comment me to death I ever commit the above-mentioned errors!

All for now,

XO,
~A

David Lord recognizes the benefits of exercise on the mind and body, and he wants to extend those benefits to students at Metzger Elementary School in Tigard, where he teaches fifth grade.

The 14-mile commute from his home in North Portland, alo

ng bike paths, over bridges and through residential areas, “is a great stress-reliever,” he says. Lord, 39, used Metro’s bike-simulation map to plot his route to the school, near Washington Square.

A member of the Bicycle Transportation Alliance, Lord coordinates the organization’s Safe Routes to School program at Metzger. During the two-week course, held in late October, students learn about bicycle safety.

The program has been a hit among students. Principal Karen Twain calls it the “fifth-grade rite of passage.”

“It’s sort of like driver’s ed” for young bicyclists, Lord says of the course, which culminates in a “Community Ride Day.”

Excitement about the course was built a few weeks before, when, on Oct. 5, the school held its fourth annual “Bike & Walk” event, also coordinated by Lord. Staff and volunteers met students at checkpoints and walked with them. Because many students live too far away to walk, Lord worked with the physical education department to hold activities on the school field.

“Every student gets some activity that day,” Lord says.

He cites health as a benefit of his own bicycle commute. Ten- and 11-hour days leave little time for gym visits.

Every few weeks, Lord takes a day off and drives to school, but he prefers to ride. “The commute is still about an hour,” he says, ” and I’m getting a workout at the same time.”